My Greatest Secret About Gratitude

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Internal Control

We are often told to be happy; we must feel a sense of gratitude. Many pundits tout that if I can have a gratitude list, this will give me energy every day and start the day with good thoughts.

I have found that willing myself to feel gratitude is very difficult. I know logically that being grateful for what I have now allows me to be at peace to perform at my best when it comes to love. True gratitude frames an attitude to love more strongly, support more emphatically, and help more frequently.

It is hard to see that every obstacle is a seed for a greater benefit and an attitude of gratitude in a storm’s window. It is hard to remember that we came to drain the swamp when we are up to our eyeballs in crocodiles. Here is my secret that re-centers me to the north star of gratitude.  MORTALITY. We are all mortal, and at some point, we realize that we are all just going to die. Appreciate the present moment. Everything is temporary, and be grateful for those helping you; it will be over before you imagine. Gratitude is the difference between entitlement and privilege.

My mother called me yesterday to tell me that one of her best friends has died. I had seen her best friend 5 months before at my uncle’s funeral, and sadly that was the last time I did see her. She had a heart attack, and in a matter of hours, she was gone. It was so sudden that my mother did not even get the heart attack news but only her friend’s passing. Death: it will shake you to the core, but it does make me remember to live gratefully. Grateful for all gifts given to us in this life will one day be taken back.

We live in a never-enough world, or we cannot consume fast enough and are never content with what we have, there is only struggle.

Gratitude can resolve this and bring short-term happiness. Gratitude has a short-term impact but has not been shown to have a sustained impact because it is not a natural lifestyle.

If your idea of gratitude is reciprocation, then you are in for a world of heartbreak and pain.  Gratitude is the least deeply felt of all human emotions. Whatever you do for anyone, you are better off forgetting you ever did it and just did it for yourself because the beneficiary has. 

Appreciation is an attitude of gratitude; life is giving and receiving, and we cannot give without receiving. Sometimes, we look to the wrong source of our receiving. You must convey your wants and expect it to come, but we never can guess from where it will be coming. As my spiritual friends would say, “Draw an eye onto god, and he will draw an eye onto you.” If you say thank you often and sincerely, that is the opposite of being ungrateful and arrogant.

Hubris tends to intimidate others and a lack of gratitude. Fight pride with humility, fight snobs with sacred people, fight fear with openness, fight grumps with gratitude.

John Wooden said, “Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.

Tactics for Wholehearted Gratitude

Reflect on your mortality:  The source of our pain can become joy, where we can find gratitude, the life lesson. Life is teaching, and that is the opportunity for gratitude. Be grateful for the lesson. Are we listening? Surrender to hope and gratitude and see what comes.

Loss can be big, like close family or pet. It can be small like the sadness of a dead bird on the window sill. Give it its space and find gratitude for what you have learned.  Lessons connect us with optimisim and access gratitude, resist the urge to fight. You cannot beat life.

1.Be authentic and let go of what others think. 2. Cultivate self-compassion and let go of perfectionism. 3. Cultivate the resilient spirit and let go of numbing and powerlessness. 4. Cultivate gratitude and joy and let go of fear.

If you are ever down and want to snap out, ask who loves me and who do I love? In your life, what do you feel most grateful for? It will change your focus immediately.

Make a Daily Self Gratitude practice, list 3 things to be grateful for while you exercise or eat breakfast.

Make a daily family gratitude practice, and share our struggles, the lessons and Gratitude.

Stephen Choo Quan

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