There is a way to say YES and a way to say NO. Similarly there is a way to give feedback and a way not to. I am quoting from Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, who has presented the very essence of feedback. If you are on a leadership board, you are a manager or just a peer, you have to know when you are ready to give feedback.
I know I’m ready to give feedback when:
- I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you
- I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us
(or sliding it toward you). - I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully
understand the issue. - I want to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart
your mistakes. - I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address
your challenges. - I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you.
- I’m willing to own my part.
- I can genuinely thank you for your efforts rather than criticize you
for your failings. - I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity.
- I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.
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