Do you know the loneliness feeling? have you ever dropped your kid off in preschool and told them, “GO play”? At best, another kid raises his head and plays with his toys. 

Do you remember the feeling of finding a table to eat lunch in high school? The loneliness feeling in a crowded cafeteria and yet “where do you belong?”

I felt the same way as I opened the salsa party’s door at my first social. My brain registered that everyone seemed to know everyone else, and none of these faces were familiar to me.

A small crew of guys is laughing in one corner, and the pretty girls whisper together. The professional dancers are dancing near the DJ booth exchanging dances among themselves. 

There is only one unshakable question “Maybe this was a bad idea!!!”. I look to the entrance to see if it is not too late to exit and set my eyes on the BAR. Maybe some liquid courage can numb the inner rising chatter that makes me anxious. 

If this narrative sounds familiar, I will offer a way to be a networking commando and SAK this reoccurring situation.

1. Skills
2. Attitude
3. Knowledge

SKILLS

Prepping for the floor

1. Pre-plan the event. Pick the best dance events where more than 50 people attend to meet people where the photos look friendly, or friends rave about 
2. Wear is something that sparks joy in you and puts you in a good mood.
3. Show up early, feeling good, looking sexy, smelling fresh, and ready to move.
4.  Get the most visible seat to see those arriving and where you can easily bump into as many people as possible.
5.  Get off your cell phone. You are not winning friends with your mug on the phone screen.
6. Walk-in with a friend if you are late. If you can get a friend to walk in, it would break the initial arrival tension and jump right in.
7. If you attend the dance with a friend or associate, split up. It’s a waste of time walking, talking, or sitting together. Play a game with your friend. Who meets the most people and gets the most significant number of newest dances. The more you bet, the less likely you’ll spend one second together.

Hitting the dance

1. Walk the crowd at least twice. Get familiar with the people & the room.
2. Target your prospective dancers. Get a feel for who you’d like to meet. It is essential to understand the mindset of great dancers, particularly those in dance teams which we will cover under knowledge.
3. Don’t butt in. Interrupting can create a wrong first impression. Stand close by, and jump in when a pause or opening appears.
4. Don’t smoke or smell like a cigarette. I am not the surgeon general, but It is not suitable for your health or pleasurable for the company you keep.
5. Never Wait:  If you are waiting long enough to be asked, you have waited too long. Man or Woman, ask someone if you want to dance.
6. Please don’t be a cling-on making one BFF with the first person you meet. You are here to dance and meet people, so be polite when you exit. Let them know you will be back later for a follow-up dance.
7. Stay until the end. The longer you stay, the more contacts you’ll make, and the next time there will be fewer unfamiliar faces.

Post dance follow-up.

1. Diners or sharing a few beers are great ways to deepen friendships after a dance night.
2. Connecting on social media can help you deepen your understanding of your new friends and make the next interaction more personal.

ATTITUDE

1. Be happy, enthusiastic, and positive. “Attitude is everything” is true in business, in life, and on the dance floor. Don’t be lamenting your “tough day.” People want to dance with a winner, not a whiner.
2. A warm smile is an easy way to make a firm connection without being creepy. You should look the person in the eye and smile.
3. Say the other person’s name at least twice. First, to help you remember it, and, secondly, to honor that person with the most pleasing word in the dictionary.

KNOWLEDGE

The story you may tell yourself, I am not worthy, or I am not lovable?

You are NOT being snubbed!   

A top female dancer and friend once told me that she does not know many beginners because she already has enough friends to keep her dance card full. That is quite normal for those who spend many years learning and mastering their dance. They are highly targeted for their skills and come across as standoffish.  

You are not that important that someone should jump off their chair to ask you to dance because you walked in the door. 

Take advantage of group classes.  

Cliques fall into two categories—students of a studio who attend group classes and the dance team, a more severe case of group class syndrome.  Participation in group classes will allow you an opportunity to develop many new friends.

Which of these techniques presented here today did you pick to work on to break the loneliness feeling?